Thinkself-deprecating, gentle giant rather than cold-shouldering toff and you've got this affable Marlboroughian down pat. He likes to claim humble beginnings but his mater has digs in the King's road and his step-grandmother had a shrub named after her. Add to that a top-drawer public school education and a unique way of pronouncing Dalian and you begin to realise that if not exactly born with a silver spoon in his mouth he's probably never sung carols with children from the local council estate either. Hong Kong doesn't have any.
'It's like some frontier town type- thing....bleak.' Dave remarks as we approach the Bank of China cash machine. It's getting dark and the autumn air stirs a little. The weather is not unlike it would be in southern England at this time, except the wind is noticeably sharper. I couldn't imagine why a TEFL graduate with a choice in the matter would choose Bayuquan so here I am, having the blanks filled in for me. Time is precious, soI snatch the interview in Dave's flat and in a massage parlour. The photos are taken inbetween, in a hair salon.
Why Bayuquan?
I didn't want a big city because of the trouble I'd get into and the money I'd spend. I'd end up in the expat community just because I like chatting to people and end up liking them inevitably...I'd end up speaking no Chinese. I figured if I came to a tiny little Chinese town with only seven foreigners I could get much more involved in the Chinese way of life and the language and concentrate on being a good teacher...well pretending to be. Rather than being out 'til the early hours. Obviously that's all completely backfired. That's a bit of a lie actually. I have saved some money.
What have you possibly got to complain about?
Loads of rubbish. I haven't got a towel. I can't communicate with anyone...that's my own fault so I can't get too upset about it. Teaching can be a nightmare when you have bratty kids but you forget about it ten minutes after the lesson so that's alright. I haven't seen my girlfriend in a year. That's a bit shitty.
Sitting here in a dingy flat in a Chinese boom-town. Does it seem like the fulfilment of some teenage dream?
Rather embarassingly, yes. Since about 17 or 18 I've wanted to get out here. I put it off for so many years. Now that I'm here in some crap little podunk town, I'm pretty pumped about the whole thing even though any sane person that comes here will tell you that there's absolutely nothing to be excited about...
You recently got yourself a second job as a barman...
I think barman is stretching my terms of employment.
How would you describe it?
Social whoring. I'm there to chat to people that want to speak English. Now I keep the engineers company when everyone else has got drunk.
" We're all dorks, the sooner you come to terms with it, the better I think."
Do you fancy any of your students?
No, of course not. I'm a professional (Smirk)..... Not ones that are available. How about that?
Do you think everybody is interesting?
It takes a hell of alot for someone not to be but I'm sure there's a few knocking about. I like dorks because they have something interesting about them. We're all dorks, the sooner you come to terms with it, the better I think.
You went for a night out in Dalian recently. What did you get upto?
I was very drunk actually. I tried to direct the taxi back to Bayuquan. I don't remember it actually. It never took off really. No I guess it did. It took us about three hours to find something. What do you reckon the biggest towel I can buy is?
October 2005
