Dave has been my flatmate for the last few months and naturally we've got to know eachother quite well. This has led to me realising that I don't explain myself clearly and constantly repeat myself when talking about something, long after Dave has got the point. And that Dave probably watches too much tv. Which is bad for me, because if there's a tv on I can't help but stare at it. Unless it's CCTV9. Yes sir, I can turn that off. Sometimes. Dave, if you are reading this, or admiring the photos, thank you for putting up with me. I'm sure having me as a flatmate was a mixed blessing but I hope it wasn't as hard as those mattresses we were provided with.
Kathy: What's it like living with James?
Dave: Well, to describe day to day life with James, it would certainly sound like he is a bad roommate and this is not a joke.
Kathy: You don't have to talk so slowly.
Dave: That's the pain killers speaking. James keeps tighty whities strewn around the apartment. He uses the washing machine as the hamper, so if I want to use the washing machine I have to remove all his dirty laundry. When I am watching a film and I do perhaps watch too many films, he provides a running commentary sometimes relating to the film, sometimes to this world and sometimes not.
Kathy: So I heard James likes to record dreams?
Dave: Yes, James has me record dreams into his minidisc recorder, it's interesting for me too.
Kathy: Yeah, how so?
Dave: It's interesting to talk about my dreams. It's interesting to talk into a minidisc. That's even better. Oh, in the morning when James wakes up he makes loud moaning and groaning noises that often jostle me out of slumber.
James: That's not true.
Dave: No, it is. It's like this, [makes a loud noise]
Kathy: So does James have any hidden secrets etc?
Dave: I don't think James has any secrets. If you ask James about anything he will tell you at length. Often if you don't ask James about something he will talk in even greater length.
Kathy: Sounds like a good conversationalist.
Dave: That sounds like a good conversationalist?
Kathy: Well, a one sided conversation.
Dave: Yeah, it's really up to me to reply. James is...I've been ill very little, but one night I was violently ill and I must say, James, his maternal side comes out when someone is ill. He is quite caring when someone is ill.
Kathy: So was he patting your back and stuff?
Dave: Oh no, he didn't touch me! But he did offer me things and I accepted them. Like water and sympathetic glances, and went to the store to buy me some things, but I think he might have been going to the store anyway; but I believe even if he hadn't been going he would have gone anyway.
Kathy: Anything more you want to add about-
David: Debodalair
Kathy: Yes.
Dave: No, I have nothing further to add because my pizza should be done and I need to go claim it. Oh yes, and often when he shaves he doesn't rinse the little hairs out of the sink.
James: I do!
Dave: I said sometimes you do.
James: No you said often.
Dave: I shave once a week.
James: My hair grows quite quick.
Dave: You can't say that.
James: Yes you can because the Americans say it and this is an American English training center.
This interview was typed by Kathy Mutchler. It's 95 % accurate. (Kathy: James, you're a tool! Was your interview with Dave completely accurate? James: It probably was actually. I'm a fast typer.) 
